Monday, September 19, 2011

Best of Week: Clothing and Worldview


“Vain trifles as they seem, clothes have, they say, more important offices than to merely keep us warm. They change our view of the world and the world's view of us.”
― Virginia Woolf, Orlando      
This week, Virginia Woolf opened up my eyes to the importance of clothing. As a girl I do take a certain amount of pride in making sure that I look presentable to the outside world every morning and this typically includes selecting from my wardrobe and creating a suitable outfit (admittedly, some days I put more effort into this than others).  However, in doing this I am usually thinking about how it will affect other people, never how it will affect me. After reading and discussing Woolf’s opinions of clothing in her book Orlando in class, I couldn’t help but glance down at my favorite pair of jeans, my striped camisole and my blue cardigan and wonder “to what degree has this affected me and my own worldview?”.
The first part of Virginia Woolf’s opinion is fairly easy to understand. Although we have all been taught from a young age that you should never judge a book by its cover, clothing and appearance are really the first things people notice about you. People that you talk to everyday also have your personality to work with, but all the people who don’t know you as well unintentionally derive a sense of who you are from how you look.  I have always believed that someone’s appearance isn’t enough to judge anyone, so this idea initially clashed with my own beliefs. But what I realized is: of course this isn’t ideal, we would all like to think that we don’t make judgments (even small ones) about people that quickly, but we all do it.
For example, you see a teenager at the convenience store; let’s call him Dan. Dan is clothed in loose fitting sweatpants that seem dangerous close to falling to his ankles; an equally loose, wrinkled looking jacket; and baseball cap on his head turned at a 45 degree angle. Your first thoughts are undeniably revolving around the fact that this looks like a suspicious kid. If Dan was wearing instead, for example, a polo shirt with a well creased pair of khakis, your first impression would be much different, even though he is the same person.
Another thing to consider is that it might not be the actual clothes you are judging. Dan dressed in an unorthodox way, that is true, but you might not care about his sagging pants or his wrinkled jacket. In fact, what you might actually be analyzing is Dan’s choice to wear such clothing. When he woke up this morning, Dan actively made a choice to dress himself in saggy pants and a wrinkled jacket. Instead of pulling up his pants and straightening out his jacket, he is intentionally wearing them sloppily; this seems to give you a small window into his personality and his character. Woolf is saying exactly this: that what you choose to wear affects other people’s worldview of you.
However, what of the other part of Woolf’s quote? How does what you choose to wear affect your own worldview? How did my blue sweater make me think any differently about my surroundings, and how does Dan’s loose pant’s affect his? I’ll be honest: at first I didn’t get it. How could what I wear every day change the way I view things? It was an idea that stayed with me for a while, but I finally started to understand it.
There are actually a lot of ways that my choice (or Dan’s choice) of clothing affects my worldview. If I dress in my favorite outfit, it adds a certain pleasure to my day that I wouldn’t have without it. I can imagine, therefore, that when I am wearing an outfit I like I am friendlier to people around me and in a much more pleasant mood in general. Unintentionally, this could make my worldview more optimistic. Even more profoundly, as demonstrated above, what I choose to wear may have an effect on the way other people view me and even treat me. Therefore, my choice of jeans and a blue cardigan may invite a person with a similar taste for jeans and blue cardigans to come and compliment me. I have just made a new friend because of my outfit, and unintentionally altered my view of people in a very optimistic way. Inversely, Dan’s choice of saggy jeans and sideways baseball cap has an effect on the people around him in that it may make the convenience store’s owner follow him around the store because he looks suspicious. In the same way my new friend made my worldview more optimistic, Dan’s convenience store chaperone has made his worldview less optimistic. This same phenomenon occurred in Orlando when she started being waited on by men because of her skirts and dresses.  
I see Virginia Woolf’s idea about clothing as by far the best thing I’ve learned all week in that it will make me put a lot more thought into how I dress myself in the future, and how I view my surroundings. This won’t mean an increased amount of vanity on my part, but rather an understanding for how I choose to dress will affect me and others, whether I realize it or not. It will also help me understand better my own reactions to what other people choose to wear. Am I judging their character based on what they are wearing? Should I be? I also see myself using this idea to become much more aware of shifts in my own worldview, because now that I know that something as ubiquitous as clothes can have such a drastic effect on the way I view the world around me, I will be much better able to gauge what else causes my worldview to change.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Captured Thought: The Nature of Sadness


    The 10th anniversary of 9/11 on Friday made that horrifying day forefront in everyones minds; and I was no exception. However, upon thinking about it, I realized that on September 11th, 2001, I hadn't shed a single tear.
    
    Albeit, this is mostly because I was 5 and didn't really understand the gravity of the situation. I understood that the adults around me were all upset, and I was upset about them being upset, but no emotion stronger than that. In the following years, I continued to gain a better understanding of what had happened on 9/11, and developed a strong appreciation for the bravery and sacrifice of the people involved. I felt terrible about the people who had died that day, and even thinking about it made me a little sick. I guess I always just assumed I was sad.
   
    But when we watched In Memoriam in history on Friday, I was literally sprawled over my desk in tears. 
It was like suddenly all the emotions I was supposed to have felt on that tragic day were all bearing down at me at once, surrounding me from some out-of-nowhere, forgotten place. The fear in the hearts of the people in the building when it was hit, the sacrifice of the firefighters who scaled the collapsing towers, the agony of the family members who knew they would never see their loved ones again; all suddenly revealing themselves to me from wherever they were hiding.

 How could I be sadder on the tenth anniversary of September 11th than I was on the actual day of the tragedy? Did I just never care enough before? Did I never even try to feel sad? What was wrong with me? I may have been young at the time, but I remember having a clear understanding that lives had been lost, and wasn’t that enough to invoke tears at the time? And even several years after, when I understood things better, had I really ever felt true sorrow about it? I began feeling a fierce sense of guilt for being so unaffected during what was might be one of the biggest tragedies of my lifetime.

Until I asked others if they had cried on September 11th, 2001.

Suprisingly enough, many of them said that they hadn’t. Almost all of the people my age that I asked had no recollection of crying on that day, and even some of the adults said that they hadn’t. When I asked them why they thought this was, the resounding response was, “Well, I guess it just hadn’t sunk in yet”. This gave me a thought: maybe sadness wasn’t as one dimensional as I thought it was. Maybe the nature of sadness wasn’t instantaneous. Maybe sadness didn’t always immediately invoke tears. Maybe sadness was something your mind has to process before you could feel the full affect of it.

I realized that this had actually happened to me before. When my grandfather died, I wasn’t immediately sad. The sorrow of his passing crept up on me slowly, over time until I fully realized how devastatingly his death had impacted me. It was a full year later until I started going through all photos of us together and felt the full impact of mourning.

Upon further investigation of this newfound idea of the drawn out nature of sadness, I realized that this made sadness fundamentally different from most other basic emotions. Anger is very instant in nature; when something makes you mad enough you’re immediately furious. You can be mad after the fact as well, but that ends up being something closer to resentment, or frustration, and not nearly as strong as the initial wave of emotion. Happiness is the same way; you are instantly overjoyed when something fantastic happens to you, and the happiness you feel after the fact is more a warm pleasant sensation in memory of the event that had made you so instantly joyous. Sadness seems to be much more reclusive in nature, hiding in your consciousness until suddenly revealing to you your own emotional response.

I now believe that this helps the initial sadness to develop itself into more powerful feelings of sorrow. Despite its delay, this kind of development makes sadness one of the most fiercely affecting emotions in human consciousness, which explains why it is this emotion that has been the inspiration of so many great artists. In fact, Franz Schubert, the composer, once said, “My compositions spring from my sorrows. Those that give the world the greatest delight were born of my deepest griefs”.

This idea that sadness isn’t simple or immediate is something I want to remember for the rest of my life. I felt so much guilt for not feeling truly sad about September 11th, 2001 until now, but what I didn’t realize was that I was truly devastated by the tragedy; I just wasn’t going to feel it for a while. Sadness isn’t this one dimensional feeling that always immediately occurs after something bad happens. Instead, sadness may hide in waiting, growing, developing inside of your mind and heart waiting for the right moment to show you what you are truly capable of feeling emotionally.